Back in Time : Pokemon
by The Legacy Of A Pheonix
Summary: 1st in BiT series. A mysterious event has occured in the future as the Hall of Legendaries decide to send 16- almost 17-year-old Ash, on the brink of winning the Ultimate League, back to the beginning without so much as TALKING to him first. SlightCrack, Ash is a hormonal teenager, so lusts after any beautiful girl. No pairings planned. T for swearing, lewd imagination. MyFirstFic.
1. Prologue

A/N: This is a Time-Travel story. Slightly over the top. Ever wonder what Pokemon would've been like with Ash actually growing up? You have, haven't you? Well, this fic has pretence of it. I'm using the anime timeline as the basis, like whenever one of the characters mentions how long it's been since they had been somewhere. Ex.: Ash says, "Pikachu, you know what today is? It's the anniversary of when we first met!" and things like that.

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

My name is Red Sato… wait, sorry. Let's try that again. My name is Ash Ketchum. I'm from Pallet Town in Kanto. This is my friend, Pikachu. "Pika!" I am a Pokemon Trainer and very soon, in fact, just later today, I was going to achieve my life-long dream of becoming a Pokemon Master.

You'd point out that it's a childish notion and that I should've went on to settle down and pick a profession like that punk Gary. Never! Because, this isn't just MY dream. I share it with all my Pokemon. "Aipom!" " Oh yeah? _Now_ you tell me! Whatever. You can go with May or Dawn if you don't want to fight but don't ruin my monologue!" Well, okay, most of my Pokemon. Anyway, we will not rest until we achieve our dream together.

*sigh* If only, I'd learned my lesson the first time, or the second, or the third, or the…just pretend I mentioned all the times I met up with legendary pokemon and had fun. Seriously it's like I've encountered _all_ the legendaries of _all _the regions except maybe Raikou… though I did have that odd dream between my Pokemon battle fantasy with Cynthia and my….*cough_* other _fantasy with Cynthia. "Pikaaa chu?" (I'm fuckin' 16 for cryin' out loud. Give it a rest!) Anyway, as I was saying, this time it was with, surprise-surprise, the Hall of Legendaries.

I mean, I've already seen all of the legendaries, might as well visit them all at the same time. What could go wrong, right? Still, the lengths to which the universe will go just to fuck with me continue to surprise me. How I got there was probably a bit side-tracked by what mess they've got for me _this_ time. I looked at the big ma..pokemon himself. Arceus peered down at me acting all serene and calm while the Kanto bird trio harped at each other in the background.

_**Silence**_, echoed through the hall, courtesy of…._honorary legendary_? Mew-two. Arceus nodded to the feline psychic and then proclaimed, mentally of course, _**We have gathered here to discuss the time-space anomaly sensed by Dialga and Palkia during the last attempt by Giratina to capture Dialga 'his playmate'.**_ Giratina shuffled on her spot as Arceus continued. (I know all the legendaries bar Latias &amp; Latios are genderless but this is more easy to understand their behavior, like Mew's.._playfulness)__** We have decided on sending a human to investigate. **_I'd tried to back away at that point only to find I couldn't move. I glared at Mew-two, but he just shrugged, the ungrateful bastard. _**I suggest we send him on his way as soon as possible. **_

I stared helplessly as Dialga made a tear in the fabric of reality like it was a Meowth and reality a curtain, and then unceremoniously threw me into the vortex like a ragdoll.

* * *

_**Are you sure this was a good idea? Especially without even telling him anything about what's happened?**_

_**Calm down Mew-two. This is Ash. He'll be fine. Besides, he'd have probably made it all worse if he had been told what to do. I believe our young friend will have the time of his life…..again.**_

_**Hey guys, does it seem Arceus is growing more and more senile as he plans these things?**_

_**Very funny, Mew. **_Arceus 'said' as he looked on the chuckling legendaries in the hall.

_**I believe all of us will be having the time of our lives if Ash does react the way we are expecting. I suggest we head back as well.**_

_**To the point as always. Ho-oh is right gentle-legendaries and Mew, let us head back. Dialga, if you please? **_Arceus ignored Mew's glare as he motioned for Dialga to 'make it big'.

_**I can't wait to see my brother again. **_Latias cried as she was the first one through the tear.

As the long line of legendaries streamed through the gigantic tear in the time-stream, Arceus once more applauded his intellect for this great idea. It had to be done sooner or later as more and more organizations kept cropping up, looking to rule the world, capturing the legendaries, destroying the world, creating a new world or some combination thereof. He smiled benevolently at Mew's glare as she went through the tear, probably forgetting all about it as her short attention-span found something shiny on the other side. As he passed through the tear, Dialga making his own way back, Arceus smirked as he thought of the young man they had sent back first. _If only I could see his expression when he realized what we've done._

* * *

Ash woke up disoriented as he sat up in bed. _Man, that was one __**bad-ass **__dream. _He soon realized he was in his bed back in Pallet. _What the…? _As far as he remembered he was staying in the Sinnoh region's League Quarters which were for the trainers participating in the Ultimate League Tournament, the biggest thing in Pokemon battle since the birth of the first Battle Frontier.

He realized that somehow Arceus must have had Dialga use Time powers, as he did feel smaller. But that was not the real problem or the reason which he had come to that normally-farfetched conclusion. No, it was the significant lack of something that defined teenage boys completing puberty.

Ash threw of his sheets and stared in horror at the bulge, or lack thereof, in his trousers. He laid back his head and screamed to the heavens. "AAAARRCEUSSSSSSSS!"

A/N: So….. What d'ya think?


	2. TheBeginning?

A/N: Please excuse any minor typo's you see. I'd be happy to correct them if you can point them out to me. This is 'hot-off-the-presses'. So no beta.

Chapter Uno

Delia was busy making breakfast for her son when she heard a horrified scream echoing down the stairs from said son's room. She quickly hurried up the stairs only to find Ash staring terrified at his….crotch. She suppressed a chuckle at the downright hysterical expression adorned on her son's face. She was confused as to what might have caused this reaction and what it had to do with her son's crotch.

Ash looked up at the intruder and realized it was his mom dressed in her apron, no doubt making a delicious….breakfast, lunch? He glanced around the room only to spot the broken clock on the floor beside his bed, giving him a distinct sense of déjà vu. "What time is it, Mom?" he asked.

Ignoring, at least for the meantime, her son's earlier….predicament, Delia glanced at her wrist and replied, "It's almost 10:30, dear. What time did you have to go to the Professor's house?" she inquired somberly, reminding herself again that today was the day Ash would begin his journey, leaving Delia all alone.

Ash jumped from his bed as he had remembered this particular day for the rest of his life. "I was supposed to be there by 10:00!" He hurriedly changed into fresh clothes not minding that his Mom was in the same room as she was still spaced out at the thought of him leaving today. As he put on his clothes, he cursed Arceus under his breath for pulling something like this. _Just before I was going to win the Ultimate League Tournament, too. _He instinctively prepared to shoot back a retort to Pikachu's undoubtedly immediate comment, only to realize he didn't have Pikachu yet.

Ash's eyes widened and he decided to think about his predicament later and get his Pikachu from Oak first. As he rushed past Delia, she came out of her trance and shouted after him, "What about breakfast?" "I'll come back for my bag and some breakfast after I get my first Pokemon mom!" Delia sighed as she watched Ash rush out of the house and sprint out of sight towards Professor Oak's corral. She replayed the morning's events as she covered a plate of hot pancakes and placed them on the table. _I wonder what he was screaming about? _She closed her eyes and shook her head at her son's antics.

* * *

As Ash ran towards the lab, he realized there was no crowd of cheerleaders surrounding the area this time around. _Arce-…Shit, how late am I? _He rushed into the lab to see Prof. Oak taking out a Pokeball from within the starter Pokemon machine. "Professor! I'm here!" Oak jumped slightly at the sound and looked towards him gaping in shock, "Ash! I thought you weren't coming. Gary and the others have already left. They've been gone for a while now." Ash didn't give a shit where the others were, he wanted his damn Pikachu and he wanted him NOW. "Professor! Please! You have to give me a Pokemon."

Oak sighed but then smiled at him as he showed him the Pokeball in his hand. As he handed the ball to Ash, his smile turned into a grimace as he tried to explain, "Ash, I only have this Pokemon available right now but I don't know if you should use him or not. You see, not only are his species known to be wary of humans but this one's particularly stubborn and he's at a high enough level that he may not listen to your orde…"

Ash had tuned the professor out as he called out his oldest friend. _Arceus, I swear to…..you, if Pikachu doesn't recognize me, I'm gonna find a way to get back into the Hall of Legendaries and roast you like a lvl. 2 Magikarp and feed your roasted carcass to a Zoroark!_ As Pikachu appeared in a flash of swirling light, Ash continued to issue death threats to the so-called God of Pokemon. Pikachu blinked and looked up at Ash with fierce glare on his face.

_Well, fuck _Ash thought as Pikachu unleashed a powerful jolt of electricity at him, enough to break through his admittedly high pain threshold. Ash, now almost burnt to a crisp, felt anger rise in him at the legenderaies when Pikachu huffed and jumped on to his shoulder. Mystified, Ash tried, "Pikachu?" Pikachu, still looking miffed at being trapped in a Pokeball just glared at Ash and pointedly refused to talk to him, but did not jump off his shoulder.

Ash recognized this particular silent treatment and smiled in utter joy as he realized this was indeed the future-Pikachu. Oak having misunderstood the situation explained to Ash that he was lucky enough that the Pikachu would follow him on his adventure but he'd have problems ordering him. Especially if he insisted on using Pikachu's Pokeball, as it seemed it did not like to be in one.

Ash thanked Oak profusely and walked out of the lab after he'd received a Pokedex and other information he'd need to know on his journey. He immediately started explaining everything to his Pikachu and scanning Pikachu with his Pokedex, which proclaimed Pikachu as being a lvl.100, knowing every move he'd known back in the future.

* * *

Ash sighed as he trudged into a clearing on route 1, having picked up his bag, eaten some pancakes and bidden adieu to his mom. "I can't believethis. They sent me back in time….." "Piiika?" "Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't believe that I'm back…. I mean, yeah, it's gonna be _awesome _and YES, I am sooo gonna troll all the idiots we met last time. But, what I don't get is… Why? Just for the heck of it? That doesn't seem like Arceus… Mew? Absolutely. But not all of them are succeptible to her…." Ash shuddered "…playfulness. There has to be a plan… a purpose." Ash sighed again as he realized he was about to meet another one of his Pokemon and then 'find' Misty.

As he walked into the smaller clearing where he remembered he'd met Pidgeotto, Ash looked around, wondering where the little bugger had gotten off to. As he and Pikachu waited first one, then two hours bored of their asses, Ash realized something that sent a chill into his bones. "He's not here." "Piiiiika chu?" The untrained listener would have completely missed the sarcasm bursting from the little rat. "Yeah, yeah. I guess no Pidgeot this time, huh?" Ash appeared calm on the surface but his brain was working overtime to piece things together. Could it be just that he was really late or was something much more weird going on around him? "I guess we better go troll those Spearow and Fearow, then?" Ash asked to take his mind off the shit Arceus had shoveled to him this time.

A deadly glint appeared in Pikachu's eyes as he sniffed the air and pointed towards the riverbank. Ash chuckled evilly….if that's possible and slowly but surely made his way into the trees.

After searching for about five minutes they found the majority of the Spearow resting in a jumble of trees. Ash motioned for Pikachu to wait as he pointed upwards, indicating the search for the Fearow before attacking. They spotted the soon-to-be-fried bird gliding leisurely towards the Spearow from the other side of the river. Ash nodded to Pikachu, smirking as he saw the eagerness in him, It was like he was on a ketchup high.

The Fearow drifted lower and lower, abruptly flapping his wings powerfully and landing to perch on one of the highest branches in the trees. He scanned the area for intruders on his territory as usual and found nothing….as usual. He closed his eyes for just a moment before his entire world dissolved to white, then faded to black.

"PIKACHUUUUUUUU!" Pikachu roared as he let loose a mighty bolt of lightning from its small body that arced into the clouds and flash-fried all the birds within range.

"Great job, buddy." Ash rubbed him behind his ears when Pikachu jumped back on his shoulder. He then continued on towards the river and looked up at the Thunder-darkened sky which cleared up as a rainbow appeared directly above them. Ignoring for a moment the 'Fuck-You' Ho-oh was giving to the laws of physics, as both the sun and the rainbow were ahead of him, Ash ordered Pikachu to get ready for a full-power Thunder when Ho-oh landed before them of his own volition.

"Explain." Ash was not in the mood for Ho-oh's cryptic double-talks but he'd make do if he had to. "Ah, young one, you have yet to achieve the gift of patience. But for once, I understand your predicament and I will explain simply. The world as you knew it does not exist anymore. This is, I believe what you call a _new_ start. The reason we had to do it, I cannot tell you, for I myself do not remember anymore, but it concerns you in fundamental ways which do not allow us to negotiate your involvement."

"I do know that your Pikachu being with you at the time of the jump, enabled him to retain his knowledge and experience. But you did not have any Pokeballs with you at that time. So you must start over. I, myself, can only give you my blessing and a piece of advice, don't be an oblivious 10-year-old, both in terms of battling and in terms of…._socialising_. Well, I'm off."

With that the legendary bird flew off into the sunset. "Did that _**bird**_ just give me dating advice?" Ash muttered out loud as Pikachu fought valiantly against the rising threat of…. uncontrollable laughter. Ash noticed this and grimaced. He was never going to live this down. Seeing that he'd been caught, Pikachu gave into the fits of tummy-clutching laughter as Ash's grimace turned into a smile as he chuckled along with his Pokemon at the sheer absurdity of the situation. After a while they relaxed as Ash mapped out the next day's events and tried to come up with a way to get Misty to travel with him but not ruin her bike.

* * *

Misty was lounging by the side of a stream near route 1, fishing to pass the time and maybe even catch a nice sturdy Magikarp. She whiled away the time as she lazily flicked her rod here or there in the water. All of a sudden there was a great tug on the line and Misty started pulling with all her might. No matter how hard she pulled, the line kept getting more and more out of her hand. That is until a boy around 10 or 11 years of age hurried over to her and had his Pikachu electrify the line. Misty watched th electricity course through the line and into the water.

There was mighty roar and a huge and admittedly quite scary head broke the surface. A Gyarados. A bloody, gigantic Gyarados popped its head out of the water and stared directlt at her. Misty whimpered as she instinctively hid behind the bot, kicking herself when she realized how stupid she was acting.

The boy on the other hand, calmly ordered his Pikachu to 'scare the little fish away'. Misty stared at him as if he'd just said Cynthia was a playground bully. But as Pikachu let loose a near-identical blue arc of lightning from within himself as he'd done yesterday, and the Gyarados whimpered, _**whimpered**_, in pain, backing away surprisingly not fainted. The boy seemed to get a contemplative look on his face before he shrugged and threw a Pokeball at the mammoth beast of a Gyarados.

Misty just stared in muted shock as this seemingly beginner trainer successfully caught a Pokemon that had scared _her _out of her wits. She shook her head discreetly to rid it of the fog as the boy introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Ash Ketchum."

A/N: I'm about to secure admission for engineering. Please bear with me for a couple of weeks. So… How was the meeting?


	3. MeetingMisty

A/N: Oh hey… uhhhh….. how's it going…. I'm really **really **sorry. My dad did not approve of me using the newly bought PC to write stupid stories instead of studying for my engineering degree. So, after almost, 6 months is it? I'm back. Rising from the ashes, baby. (I'm so sorry but I had to use that line. My inner troll would have ruined me if had missed this opportunity.)

Chapter Duo

"Hi, I'm Ash Ketchum."

"I'm M-Misty" Misty cursed when she realized she'd stuttered and shook her head to clear it of the haze. "Misty Waterflower. How did you do that…..? _**I**_ couldn't have caught that monster!"

Ash overlooked the slight bragging undertone and took the compliment at face value. _Actually, that gives me an idea…. _"M-Misty W-Waterflower?! You're the famous Cerulean gym-leader?" Ash asked with an intended awed tone in his voice. Misty looked surprised for a moment before shrugging it off and nodding. "Yeah, I am. You look young for your age. How old are you?" Ash smirked internally and scratched the back of his head looking slightly embarrassed. "Uhhh… I'm 10. How old do I look to you?"

Ash thoroughly enjoyed a, though mental, side-splitting laugh at the look on Misty's face. Really, she looked about ready to collapse like in one of those anime shows back in the future. Misty's mouth involuntarily hung open as she tried to process that bit of information. Sure, when she looked closely, it was a little obvious how young Ash was, but to think a _firstie_ had just managed to subdue that monstrosity of a Gyarados…. She shook her head again at the weirdness of that event. "Ehh… You look young _now_. Anyway, check out the Gyarados in your Pokedex."

Ash did as he was told and the screen displayed that it was a female lvl.47 Gyarados with the Endure move in its quite impressive moveset, which was probably how it survived the One-Hit K.O. power attack that was Pikachu's Blue Thunder. Misty whistled, complementing herself on not fainting on the spot at the revelations occurring in front of her right now. If only she knew. "That's a great catch, Ash! I don't think I've ever caught a wild pokemon with that high a level."

"Thanks Misty. Say, umm, where are you headed?" Ash asked trying to get himself to blush a little to make his fanboy-look authentic. "I'm, uhh, heading for Viridian City." Misty said thinking quickly where this over-powered firsty would be going next. "Wow, really? I'm going there to."

Ash easily managed a genuine delighted grin. Not because he now had his very first friend back once more. Not even because he knew what a beautiful woman she would become later in life. Ash barely managed to hold in his glee as they talked about each others' likes and dislikes, dreams and goals as they made their way towards the forest. Not because he was happy that the timeline was more or less the same before his arrival. No, it was because they were now going to enter the Viridian Forest. And Misty just looooved bugs.

BiT

As they reached the forest's edge, it suddenly hit Misty like a freight train. They were going to the Viridian Forest. They were going into the Bug Forest. She was rooted to the spot as Ash deliberately kept walking into the forest. He turned around about 5 yards into the cover. "Misty? What's wrong?" Misty's feet moved of their own accord, taking her into the dreaded forest. "I'm okay. It's just… I don't really like buUUUUGGGGGG!" After the scream, Misty wouldn't move an inch, her entire body frozen to the spot as Ash's Caterpie (hopefully) wriggled up her leg. Last time, he'd been fascinated by the pokemon. This time, Ash didn't try and stop the little critter, and it just kept crawling all the way up her leg and into her cut-off jeans. Misty's mind had already gotten two shocks just a couple hours ago. The additional panic and stress was just too much and Gym Leader Misty fainted.

BiT

Misty woke up in a tent. She looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings and the dark forest visible through the opening of the blue tent, her memories rushing back to her as her hands went, involuntarily, to her crotch. She felt both relieved and slightly suspicious of how the bug had gotten out of her cut-off jeans. She decided she'd ask Ash about it and possibly introduce him to her knuckles or even her foot if he didn't answer properly.

Her head had been reeling with multiple shocks throughout the day and hence she had been acting very uncharacteristically. But her mind was clear now, she was calm. Now, it was time to get to the bottom of this mysterious kid's story. A firstie having a Pikachu for a starter? A high-level one at that. What was going on here? Maybe he was lying. It would seem so with his looks and his confidence.

Whoever he maybe, SHE was Misty Waterflower, leader of the Cerulean City gym. SHE was not going to like a complete moron in front of anyone. Fear of bugs notwithstanding. She shivered again at the thought of that Caterpie, burrowing into her-ughhhh… Bad Thoughts.

She got up from her prone position in the tent and after checking her bag and her pokeballs and walked out of the tent… to find Ash talking to a bug. Ash TALKING to a CATERPIE. The SAME Caterpie that had been trying to-ughhh…. "Ash! What are you doing with that, that, THING!?" Misty shrieked, startling the little bug pokemon. Caterpie hid behind Ash's legs, poking its little head out at the side to stare at Misty as if she had hurt his feelings, making 'puppy-dog' eyes at her.

Ash chuckled as he saw the expression on both Misty and Caterpie's faces. "It's just a little Caterpie, Misty, not a Pinsir. See, he's more afraid of you. The Caterpie was almost in tears hiding behind Ash and Misty felt a slight tingle in her heart at the sorry state of the poor bu-BUG pokemon! It was a Bug Pokemon, Misty reminded herself. She decided to ignore….IT for the moment and rounded on Ash.

"And you! How did you-uhhh… How did-ummm…" Misty faltered in the middle of her accusation as it struck her how embarrassing the question she was asking was.

Ash was mystified. _As usual, _he thought to himself, _Hey, look. A pun. _Actually he was pretty sure what she was trying to hint at but the implications of her cheeks getting redder by the moment were yet to dawn on him. _Hey, look. Dawn. That sk-getting side-tracked. _Ash shook himself mentally, unknowingly mirroring Misty's…._thoughts?..actions?... _as she decided to ignore that line of thought as well.

"Whatever, how long was I out?" Misty asked trying to rid herself of all impure thoughts involving creepy-crawlies. "Long enough for me to set up camp", he replied. Misty sighed, awaiting the inevitable question about why she'd passed out like a newbie. But she was surprised when _Ash _continued training his, apparently, newly caught Caterpie with the help of his Pikachu.

"Come on, bud. You can do it, Tackle him." The Caterpie, in her opinion, got a thoroughly constipated expression on its little face, before charging at the yellow mouse with surprising speed. Pikachu dodged it easily, it was _really, __**really**__ fast_. She didn't even see any after-images, the damn thing just teleported behind the bug. "Come on, keep at it. I know you can do it." "Pikapi pika Pikachu!" Whatever Pikachu had said seemed to motivate Caterpie and it started to throw itself at Pikachu rapidly, always missing as the mouse seemingly teleported around it.

_Come on, just a few more times… _Ash thought to himself as Pikachu continued to evade Caterpie with ease. _Now! _Pikachu, having guessed what Ash was trying to accomplish, stopped abruptly and took one of the tackles head on…. And promptly fainted.

"Wait…. WHAT!?" Misty shrieked out at this unexpected turn of events. It was kinda funny. Ok, it was hilarious. But, Ash suppressed his laughter and peered keenly at his Caterpie. The bug pokemon, if anything, appeared even more shocked at his victory. But, as it set in, he began to glow in a tell-tale fashion. "It's evolving!?" _No shit, Sherlock. Wait, who's Sherlock? Whatever. _He'd never realized how childish and starry-eyed he and his friend had been. Though, in her defence, she was probably still shocked about the fact that Pikachu had fainted.

Metapod…_stood?...sat?..._calmly in place of Caterpie, his form the epitome of the legendary poker-face.

Ash grinned at Misty and then explained, "Caterpie was already very close to evolving when I caught him. And a mock battle was just the push he needed to go over the edge." "Bu-but Pikachu?", Misty asked, now just confused. "He never fainted. Right buddy?" "Pikaaaaa!" Misty jumped as the damn rodent had disappeared from the spot where he'd landed and cried out just behind her.

"Bu-but how.. wh-" "Trade Secret. Sorry." Ash smirked at her, feeling very stupid when Misty's foot lashed out to his shin. "Oww! Ok, ok, I'm sorry!" Ash grimaced, but smiled internally, _Same old Misty._ "It's nothing too complex, Pikachu just 'played dead' I guess you could say." Misty grunted in annoyance. "Whatever." With that she turned around and started making her own tent.

BiT

Soon, as night fell, she'd forgotten about it and they started talking about each other like they had the first time around, just a couple of kids sharing their lives over dinner around the campfire.

"I want to be a Water Pokemon Master. Always been the dream. To travel all over the world without any responsibilities or duties and just enjoy my life.", she said, sighing wistfully. "What about you?"

"I initially wanted to become a Pokemon Master. That's still the dream, but now I have another goal in life. When I was going through Route 1, before I met up with you, there was this freak thunderstorm, that cleared upjust as soon as it'd formed." "Yeah, I remember that. There was a rainbow as well." "Yeah, well, I, I think I saw Ho-Oh." "What? You mean the Johto Legendary?" "Yeah, that one. He was quite awesome-looking. I don't think I've ever seen anything that beautiful in my entire life.", he said, drawing from his initial memories when he actually was 10 and smiled. "Now, I want to see all the legendaries as well. I dunno, maybe one of them will like enough that they'll join me on my journey."

If it was any other firstie imagining these things, she would've scoffed in their faces. But there was something different about this guy. Something that was almost convincing her that he was telling her the truth about having seen Ho-Oh. Maybe it was the genuine smile on his face which had an expression of bliss on it. Or maybe it was just all the weird shit she'd been through since they'd met.

Whatever it was, she was looking forward to travelling with this kid. _Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town. _She involuntarily yawned and realized she was really tired. "Well, I'm off to bed. G'night Ash." "Night." She got up and went into her tent.

Ash sighed after staring at her as she went into the tent, bending over and crawling inside. He was an almost seventeen-year-old in a ten-year-old's body. He may not have hit puberty yet but his mind was running rampant with images of Misty bending over, her jean-shorts stretching-NO, he was not going to think about any of that. Not until he was at least 13 or 14. _May…_ Yup. When he met Arceus in this world….. He was going to wish it was a bored Mew after him. Ash shuddered at the thought and shook his head to clear his thoughts and try to grasp his current predicament. The gravity and the quantum physics of his situation still hadn't settled in his mind. He decided he wasn't going to think about it too much and just concentrate on making the most of this second chance he'd gotten.

_I really just __**can't **__catch a break, can I?_

He didn't expect an answer. But he got one. A very amused one.

_**No, you can't. That would be against the laws of nature.**_

A/N: Ok, so, I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth like that. But well, it's my Dad's money. Can't use the PC and the WiFi to watch YouTube videos, read FanFiction or anything even mildly entertaining. That's blasphemy, that is. Anathema. Fucking bullshit. Barbaric, I know. But you learn to deal with it. Whatever, I'm back and will try to update as much as possible. Sorry again and please, continue reviewing it really helps motivate me to get better marks in my exams so I can use the PC more often.

A/N: *edited magical imaginary endurance ability* Sowie bout that one. Believe me, my inner nerd had words with me about this kinda behaviour. Will still probably keep making mistakes, just to spite..._myself?..._whatever. Keep prompting me in the reviews. Thanks for the correction.


	4. ViridianCity

**A/N: **Hey! I'm Back! Been so long. (24 hrs) Thanks to the guest reviewer who caught my nerd-research-gap. Gemava, u b rite. About a lot of things. Quite a lot of shitty language in this one. You have been Warned. Shitstorm is coming. (All the GoT fans, I regret nothing.) Also an excerpt from one of my favorite fics. See if you can spot it.

Chapter Tri

Ash jumped a foot in the air.

_God-fucking-Damnit! _Ash shouted internally, completely caught off-guard.

Laughter drifted and echoed in his head as the damn ungrateful bastard appeared, from thin air, right in front of him.

_**You should've seen the look on your face, my friend. What is it you say? It was awesome. Priceless.**_

_Ha-fucking-ha, the fuck do you want Mew-Two?_

_**If your head the mental capacity, you would realize I was 'born' just about the time your puny self started on your amazing *cough*pathetic*cough* quest.**_

This was the first time in his life that Ash had heard a completely mental cough transmitted somehow through telepathy. He was probably the first human ever to have heard that. He didn't like it, one bit. He decided to ignore that for now and move on to more pressing matters.

_From the tone of your voice, things seem to have gone roughly at your 'birthplace'._

_**Yes, Captain Obvious. They did. Have you ever had your consciousness hurled through time back into your body? Oh, wait. There was no body to return to! It was only because my powers were OP enough that I survived the wait while those imbeciles messed about with Mew's DNA.**_

_Well, you're here now aren't you? Let's make the most of it. What did you want from me? Need I remind you that I was sent back too. I'm just as pissed as you are._

_**I propose a partnership. Because this time, I haven't made the clones yet. I don't have a purpose.**_

_Wait, are you asking me what I think you're asking me?_

_**You're moronic brain is still dreaming about that female's hindquarters.**_

_Touché. Points off for using the word hindquarters. Seriously? Hindquarters? What the fuck? Are you a troll or not?_

_**I apologize, I got distracted by all the various scenes you were imagining with quite the collection of females and their appendages.**_

_Again with the appendages? Say It! Ass! Breasts, even! What are you? A civilized noob?_

_**You know, I was always curious what using my neutralization powers on a human's brain would result in. Are you, perhaps, interested in volunteering?**_

_Naaahh, I'm okay. Anyway, are you actually interested in joining my team?_

_**Not your team, my un-evolved friend. Just joining you in trolling this backward world and of course the Pokemon upstairs.**_

_I can live with that. So I take it you would mind if I threw a pokeball at you?_

_**I would mind it about as much as you would mind being hurled into Mt. Cinnabar.**_

_Okay then. I suppose you'd also mind being used in gyms?_

_**Please, you don't even need new pokemon, your Pikachu could probably take out any sort of pokemon the pathetic Mareeps throw at you. That damn rodent took out Regice back when you were halfway through your journeys.**_

_Yeah but I still want to make new friends, you would understand that._

_**I suppose, I can.**_

_...you big Softie, you-_

_**Utter one more word and die.**_

_Okay, okay. Jeez. Calm your tits._

_**And please refrain from using that Taurus shit of a language. The future really went to hell.**_

_Oh, please. The animes were nice. Our culture gained from it._

_**Idiotic ramblings about ninjas, rangers and souls. And don't get me started on the books! Magic and Vampires and Gods. I'd rather be Mew's 'playmate' for a day.**_

Both human and pokemon shuddered and shook their heads at the images brought up by the last thought.

_**Scratch that. I'd rather be a human fan-girl then suffer such a perilous fate.**_

_I'm just going to forget we ever started this discussion. In any case, welcome to The Team, Mew-Two._

_**Was that incorrect punctuation supposed to symbolize something?**_

_Goddamnit! Don't turn into a fucking grammar nazi._

_**Whatever. This conversation bores me. Get off your ass and provide some entertaintment.**_

_Oh I'm sorry, your highness. I forgot you still had that damn Princess-Complex. I suppose being, essentially, a copy of Mew, that was to be expected._

_**Are you volunteering again?**_

_No but I need to sleep now. Don't you legends sleep or even rest?_

_**We are too advanced for such primitive activities.**_

_I'm pretty sure Mew knows Rest. _

_**That little demon-spawn knows all the moves that exist in this plane.**_

_The fuck does a plane got to do with this shit._

_**This plane of existence you insipid ball of sphincter puss.**_

_Haven't heard that one before. Anyway, I'm going to sleep. We'll…._talk?_.._think?_... in the morning._

_**What am I supposed to do till then?**_

_I dunno. Amuse yourself somehow, I guess._

_**You have made a grave mistake, my friend.**_

_I know, a chill went up my spine even as I said it but I would not be considered a world-class troll if had stopped midway. Do your worst._

_**For once, your wish is my command.**_

Ash saw him disappear and thought _I_ _may have doomed us all._

BiT

When Ash woke up the next morning he found everything just as it was in the morning. He quickly dressed and left the tent. Outside, everything was still just as it was last night. He was getting increasingly paranoid. He checked in Misty's tent only to freeze, then jump back out at the slightest of movement. Misty was sleeping on her back, her ass in the air, the blanket at her ankles. Her fingers were twitching ever so slightly.

He quickly moved on simultaneously thankful and devastated he had no unannounced visitor in the morning. His head was really getting messed up by the frustration of having no reaction at all to any sort of provocative or even erotic images in his imagination. Pikachu was still passed out in the tent as if he'd just had a ketchup-overdose. Which was really odd. Because he was usually the first one up out of the two of them.

_This is just getting more and more creepy_ Ash realized, as he remembered his travels with the redhead prostate in her tent was usually also quite an early-riser.

_Ehhh… Whatever. _He decided he didn't really want to know what Mew-Two had done. Whatever it was, he'd probably be aware of it quite soon.

_**Funny you should say that.**_

Ash, to his utmost shame, jumped again at the disembodied voice that filtered through the clearing. Preparing a witty-well, somewhat-comeback to the not unexpected remark of his jump height, Ash was even more creeped out when there was no more sound, ominous-echoing-telepathic or otherwise.

_OK then. Have to get to civilaztion. Have to see what's left of the world. _Ash quickly woke up Pikachu and packed everything up. He hesitated before Misty's tent-flap (which he'd zipped shut after glancing at her ass through the opening for the fourth time while packing up) but then threw caution to the wind and zipped it open….to take a shoe to the face. Granted, what he had witnessed had been worth it. Sorta. His nose really hurt, though. But it wasn't bleeding because of the blow.

BiT

Misty awoke to quite a lot of sound coming from outside her tent. She stretched and decided to get changed before helping Ash, who was probably outside packing everything up. She really only had three sets of clothing that she made do with. She brought the day's clothes and quickly started changing into them. As she was pulling on her top, she heard the zip open and she hurriedly tried to pull her top over head, getting tangled between the shoulder straps of her jean shorts that were two loops at her waist. She tried to cover herself as much and as fast as possible (her…uhh…small…_stature?_..._physique?_...was reason enough for her to not bother with bras) but when she heard the gasp her reaction was classic Misty (or classic any-girl-in-the-world I guess, speaking from quite a few personal experiences (damn those heels fucking **hurt**)) and her foot slammed into Ash's face.

"GET OUT! Don't you know how to **knock**?", Misty cried out as soon as she had her head out of the top and her body covered properly. Ignoring the absurdity of that statement (seriously, what the fuck was he supposed to knock on? The damn ground?) Ash apologized profusely, backing away from the tent. He knew Misty's fiery temper and did not want to deal with that just after having released the monstrosity of a troller that is Mew-Two to the world. He _still_ didn't know what the bastard had done.

Misty, blushing despite herself at the situation, decided to let him off the hook this time, against her better judgment as she didn't know if Ash was just a pervert or if this time was an honest mistake. What she really wanted to do would see the boy in a coma, but she needed to get out of this damn forest first.

"Don't** ever** do that again. Understood?" "Yes Ma'am. Can we leave this forest now?" Ash asked smoothly changing the topic so as to avoid further persecution.

BiT

"Ok, this is just ridiculous." Misty muttered in exasperation. "13 trainers in 3 hours?!" Ash looked at the expression on her face and fought to control his laughter, shrugging, as Pikachu giggled away on his shoulder, the little troll. Now, Ash realized calling everyone a troll was lame and actually reduced the awesomeness of actual trolls. But what would you call a small inconspicuous pokemon like his Pikachu, that cleans out 13 teams of 3-6 pokemon each, consecutively, without a break, without ever slowing down the pace or ferocity with which the opposition was taken down.

13 trainers tried to intimidate him with a variety of tactics and pokemon and they all bowed down to the mighty mouse….currently acting like a giddy Pichu, high on caffeine and sugar, messing about on his shoulders and the ground around them as they finally made their way out of the forest. Ash had decided not to catch anymore pokemon than he needed for the next gym that he'd face. Which basically meant he was lazy and also didn't quite remember the exact details of '**when**' all of his pokemon were supposed to run into him. He was pretty sure he only had Pikachu and Butterfree while leaving Viridian Forest and heading into Pewter City.

He already had Metapod and the troll, also got a Gyarados (it looked kinda reddish in the right light, but ash knew he was probably just imagining it… shiny pokemon were rare, it wasn't like any old trainer passing through a region where it was seen could have it….right?) and he was still just reaching Viridian City. Misty had insisted on going here before attempting to travel through the remainder of Viridian Forest between Viridian and Pewter and he agreed readily, he wanted to get to a television set ASAP.

_I need to know what that bastard was up to last night _Ash thought as he and Misty arrived at the centre and gave their pokemon to nurse joy to check over even though they were fine. (it was an unofficial rule for trainers to check into the town or city's pokemon centre first thing when they arrived in a new place)

As Nurse Joy was checking up on their pokemon, Ash rested walked outside in search of a TV. (pokemon centres, despite being such a hub for trainers, usually didn't have any sort of noise producing technology to maintain the peace and calm atmosphere they were known for, which was also the reason why he hadn't beaten the shit out of that punk Damien back in the original timeline._ Ohhh….. do I have plans for that little shit this time around._

He shook his head to clear it of thoughts of revenge as he turned a corner…to see a **gigantic** crater right where Team Rocket's HQ were supposed to be, underneath the Viridian City Gym. There was no sign of the gym building, not even any indication of there having been a working league-authorised gym and a functioning hub of crime just below the surface right in the middle of the crater.

_What. The. Actual. Fuck._

_**Hey, I informed you before-hand that I was…bored.**_

_What. Did. You. Do._

_**Oh don't be dramatic. It doesn't suit your pasty, innocent face. You look like you're about to throw a tantrum.**_

_*siiiiiiiiigh*_

_**Good job! You pulled of that mental sigh flawlessly. You're getting better at this.**_

_You know what? I don't give a fuck. I don't care what happened to the rockets. Fuck them. I need a shower._

_**What? You want to know nothing? Nothing at all? Not even a little curiosity in that human mind of yours? You don't want to know how Giovanni begged for mercy on his knees? What secrets he revealed to me?**_

_Nope._

…_**.**_

_3….2….1…._

_**Go fuck yourself.**_

_THERE he is… How you been man? It has been too long._

_**Yeah? Go fuck yourself.**_

_Come now, my friend… you're not seriously about to-_

_**Do you know how much time I spent on this stupid idea? How much effort I put into it?**_

_Zip. Nada._

_**Yeah, well. That doesn't matter. The point is I was so invested in this idea and you had to ruin it.**_

_It was too obvious, you wouldn't simply destroy it just like that. It isn't….poetic enough for your troll sensibilities. Besides this was just for me… Team Rocket hasn't actually gone after you all that much…yet._

_**Whatever. I'll get you someday, my friend.**_

With that thought, the gym came back into existence , along with all the people in the general area. The whole thing was a damned illusion in his head. No wonder it was an illusion, where were all the people reacting to it, except for him.

_What would you have done if actually had been able to see a TV first?_

_**Well, you didn't, so I'll save it for next time you do see one.**_

_Looking forward to it._

_**Ha-bloody-ha. Next time, I'm going to use one of your friends. You may have been an acceptable choice of mate back in the future but right now you're nothing but a scrawny, snot-nosed firstie.**_

Ignoring the chill that went down his spine at that statement, Ash soldiered on.

_Awww… you think I'm an acceptable choice of mate? Come here so I can kiss you, wittle BuuTuu._

_**If Mew hears about this….'conversation'…**_

They both shuddered, although Mew-Two was invisible.

_**For both our sakes, let's move on.**_

_Agreed._

BiT

Ash having returned to the centre, continuing his banter with the 'test-tube baby' of legends, met up with Misty and after collecting his pokeballs and Pikachu, promptly whispered at Pikachu to go easy.

Pikachu was confused at first, but the explosion that blasted a whole in the roff of the centre refreshed his memory quite readily. He smirked and sparked his cheeks, rejuvenated and ready for action.

Ash saw this and smirked as well. In actuality, both pokemon and trainer had such evil expressions on their faces, any onlooker would have shat themselves. Fortunately, for both Ash and the onlookers, they were all too busy staring at the spectacle that was Team Rocket, rather the defunct cartoon department of Team Rocket, landed inside the centre and started their much-reknowned intro.

"Hey! Hey! Excuse me! Team Rocket! I have a question!"

"Oh my **god**, kid! Didn't your elders teach you any manners? Couldn't it have waited until after we finished our intro?" Jessie said in her most condescending tone,

Ash smirked, "I just wanted to know why you didn't use the doors."

Everybody in the crowd looked from the trainer to the two hooligans and their talking Meowth.

Misty, who had called out her Staryu and Starmie as soon as she recovered from the explosion, looked to Ash to see what he was doing.

Jessie's mouth was working but there were no words coming out as Ash continued smirking, "I mean, I know you're bad people and all. That you've come here to steal all the pokemon in the centre but really? Did you just **have** to blast through the ceiling to gain entry? It wasn't like the door was reinforced , or even closed for that matter."

"I-.. We-..I… Urgghhh, James let's teach this twerp a lesson. Go Ekans!"

"My pleasure, go Koffing!"

"Heh, noobs. Misty?" Ash looked towards her gesturing at his Pikachu and her two water types. She nodded. "Staryu, Starmie use Water Gun on these weaklings."

Both pokemon released formidable jets of water at the opposing pokemon. Ash just looked at Pikachu and the little yellow rodent released a massive bolt of electricity at the five, electrocuting them and then launching them in the air just with the momentum of the attack, before being blasted off into the distance.

BiT

"That was fun." Ash said as he followed Misty out of the damaged centre. They had apologized to Nurse Joy only to be thanked in return for saving the pokemon in the centre.

"It was. I haven't had a tag-team battle in a while." "That was hardly a battle. It was more like a chore. Like taking out the trash." Misty chuckled at the lame joke and turned around the corner….and promptly froze in place. Ash stopped himself in time to avoid walking into her. He looked around her at the bike stand beside the centre and performed what, after he got older, he would regard as his best poker face. All the bikes in the stand were gone, without a trace.

Internally, he was laughing his ass off. He could distinctly hear Mew-Two's chuckle in his brain.

_Well played sir. Very well played, indeed._

_**I expect quite a lot from you, my young friend. In return I can always help…smooth out…the way.**_

_Thanks Mew-Two._

He received a mental nod in response. He then returned to the present and turned to Misty, "Should we lodge a complaint?" "No… I-..It doesn't matter, the bike was quite old anyway", Misty sighed, "Its just-… What am I going to do now?"

"You could always travel with me." _Smooth as fuck._

Misty sighed again at the empty bike stand before turning to him and smiling, "Sure Ash. Let's go then. Where do you have to go next?"

"I was thinking Pewter would be best at this point. It's the closest, just through the remainder of Viridian Forest."

Misty groaned and Ash chuckled at the two made their way out of town on foot.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed.**

Again, many thanks to people that are taking time out to correct and guide little old me to the right track.

Quick question, should I change the rating from T to M because of the language in this one?

The rest of the story will probably follow the same trend…

Lemme know what you think I should do. Thanks for the ideas.


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